Well apparently he's into motor boating.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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