I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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