he wants to bone in the snuggie
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize