so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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