TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
