cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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