carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
