I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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