"it" just moved
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
