my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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