No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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