I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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