AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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