Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
