I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
