I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
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at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
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I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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