Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
