Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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