I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
