Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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