Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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