is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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