Heybabeimwearingurpanties
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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