we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
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Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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