I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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