hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is not my ceiling
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
