Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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