Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
