just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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