Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
smell my finger.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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