The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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