Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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