Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just google imaged poop.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
