He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?