i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
