I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It's just like the Real World with babies
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..