I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!