And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
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No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender