Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+31): I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew. http://tfl.nu/u42t
  Replies (14) Good night (2901) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car http://tfl.nu/skxr
  Replies (22) Good night (7051) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time... http://tfl.nu/szlj
  Replies (47) Good night (2135) Bad night (7742) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way? http://tfl.nu/etox
  Replies (24) Good night (4995) Bad night (814) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me... http://tfl.nu/wuq4
  Replies (12) Good night (2462) Bad night (4128) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer. http://tfl.nu/hqfv
  Replies (2) Good night (2016) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete http://tfl.nu/s3e3
  Replies (6) Good night (2700) Bad night (919) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret http://tfl.nu/ksru
  Replies (53) Good night (1404) Bad night (2313) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  You can't call dibs 8 years later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): You can't call dibs 8 years later. http://tfl.nu/gnnz
  Replies (7) Good night (2321) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk. http://tfl.nu/dygh
  Replies (2) Good night (2142) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me. http://tfl.nu/r0al
  Replies (8) Good night (2902) Bad night (469) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents http://tfl.nu/oebu
  Replies (3) Good night (1812) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion. http://tfl.nu/ppkx
  Replies (7) Good night (2187) Bad night (486) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood http://tfl.nu/qekx
  Replies (6) Good night (377) Bad night (2009) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass. http://tfl.nu/rpga
  Replies (11) Good night (549) Bad night (976) Order T-Shirt

Randomize