I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
