Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.