Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic