you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober