When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
operation have a gay friend backfired
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize