This is not my ceiling
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.