sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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