god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my shit smells like andre
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
A+ Viking dick
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
