Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
