This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was not drunk enough for that final.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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