R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
