dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
