I love black thongs
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
organizing the empties. That sober.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
