i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
