i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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