Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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