I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
