Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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