I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize