but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
