Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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