and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize