i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
