alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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