Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
