Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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