Don't make out with my wife yet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize