i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize