How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
