walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
