How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
