chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize