you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sobbing to NWA
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
