I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
