Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.