Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK