Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.