o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum