also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!