Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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