the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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