Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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