Your tits are I can't wait for
oh god the rape fog is back!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
